Monthly Archives: August 2020

Motivation: Push vs. Pull

Motivation is a tricky business. Getting yourself started when there are other priorities or when doing those things isn’t an attractive or easy notion can be the hardest part of getting something done. What has helped me when I wanted to motivate myself are the concepts of “Pull” and “Push”. The concepts transfer well to many situations and define a style of leadership as well as a personal motivational tool. Push is a command. Pull is an incentive. Between the two, I prefer “pull”.  There is nothing you can do that doesn’t include a little bit of both, but the style of pull is a style with positive connotations. The more you use “pull” the less demanding you are.

IMG_0112

A reward for reaching your goal is both a good feeling and incentive to keep going!

In many ways, Push is easier. We are all self contained individuals and since we are all at the center of our own awareness and direct our own actions, it can be very easy to make demands of ourselves and others. That isn’t to say it’s always wrong to push. There are times when it is the only option. The mistake that so many people make is that they leap to it as their FIRST option.  Given any kind of authority, a measure of push is implied, but the drawback of push is that eventually there is resistance to push that can overwhelm you. In short, the more push you use, the more push you need to use.

Pull is a far more interesting concept. Pull is an incentive to act – a reward that feeds back on the person who is “pulled”.  This is a positive experience. It takes more planning, more trust in yourself and others, and more commitment to the goal when you use a “pull” style.  It doesn’t always work, but it does make achieving a goal different by emphasizing the reward. For pull to work, the reward has to be realistic. A goal that moves is not achievable, no matter what the incentives are.

Part of pull is creating good habits. Those include good management of time and a good attention to detail. If you have a good plan and follow it, the goal can pull you along. If you fail to keep to your plan, often the only way to get back on track is to push. Flexibility in planning and reaching a goal is important. The better the plan, the less push is required to reach your goal.

Commitment is important. Pull isn’t possible without it. Keep the goal in focus. Constant pushing can lead to avoidance, which is self defeating. If you’re constantly nagging yourself to do something, that task will take on a very negative connotation, and nobody likes to be pushed constantly or can consistently push themselves. There are times when you have to build a rest or a change into your plans. That is part of pull.

Push and pull are evident in how we interact with other people.  Everyone has a personal style that they’ve learned over their lifetime.  Part of that is the language and tone you choose when you talk to others. Good leaders pull. They share positives. They welcome input and ideas. That’s pull. Bad leaders push. They are not open to new ideas, and they lean on procedures. It’s said that people don’t leave jobs, they leave bosses.   I think much of that has to do with the overuse of push!

Sometimes you need to push, but in my opinion, the best way to move yourself forward is to employ incentives and goals and pull yourself along.  Often the good feelings you generate by achieving goals will feed back and make continuing that good behavior easier!

Slaying Dragons

Great narratives require obstacles and challenges.  We are all the heroes of our personal stories, and our lives are journeys that present us with problems and choices. I find myself thinking about choices, and the metaphor that occurs to me when I think of obstacles or goals is the dragon. As a metaphor, the dragon we picture from legend and story is  a powerful and dangerous thing. Dragons represent all kinds of things that have to be overcome as a part of the larger story that each of us are living through. Dragons are fearsome creatures. They embody raw power, and they inspire great fear. As the hero of your personal narrative, you have to overcome dragons to advance your story. When thinking about problems and goals, there are parallels to be drawn with these legendary monsters and real life problems. Metaphorical dragons can be found all around you. Choosing to confront a dragon is how a hero grows. Some dragons we must face in life, and some we choose to face, but dragons exist to challenge you. No matter what kind of dragon confronts you, there are things about dragons (and problems or challenges) that you must remember.

Dragon

Dragons should not be ignored.
It’s out there. You can feel it. It might make you nervous or tense or anxious or even fearful. You recognize that something is waiting for you. It may even be a small or trivial thing, but it is a dragon. Once you know that a dragon is lurking, you have to recognize the dragon. They have a way of growing larger and more powerful if you ignore them. They consume resources. That dragon occupies your metaphorical space. If you ignore it, fear of the dragon can cause you to freeze or stagnate. There are many problems that only grow more complicated if you ignore them, or if you delay the journey to face them. As they grow, dragons only become harder to defeat. Problems have a way of growing if you don’t face them, and challenges ignored may become harder to face and overcome if you don’t recognize their nature.

Dragons test your resolve.
You know the dragon is there, and now you have to cope with it. Dragons are fearsome things. They have great claws and teeth. They fly and they breathe fire. Will you be able to overcome the dragon? There comes a point when you must make a decision. Dragons are stubborn and malicious. Confronting a dragon is a test. It can occur on many levels, because dragons come in all sizes. Dragons are things you don’t want to face, because facing them requires focus and effort and the character to accept the task of slaying them. Dragons test your resolve. Whether small or large, that dragon is a problem that won’t go away until you face it. The decision to face the dragon is a tipping point. Resolving to face the problem and fight the dragon is important. It may be a matter of responsibility, a matter of pride, or a matter of choice. Once you resolve to fight a dragon, a journey begins. That could be an exotic journey of discovery or a well known and well worn path, but you have to commit to traveling on it.

Dragons require a plan to face.
Dragons are formidable. Once you have committed to facing the dragon, you need the strength and skill to overcome the dragon. Facing a dragon unprepared is unwise. You need tools to defeat them, your metaphorical armor, shield and sword. You must learn how to use these tools. You need to know how to approach the dragon’s lair, and you must learn the weakness of the dragon. Every dragon of legend has a weak spot. As the hero you can overcome the dragon by your strength, your skill, your planning, and your knowledge. A journey is often required to gain the strength, skill and knowledge needed to slay the dragon. Heroes must learn and grow. The price of gaining knowledge is facing the dragon at the end of the journey.

Dragons hoard treasure.
There is a reward for slaying dragons. When the dragon is slain the dragon’s treasure belongs to you. Each dragon you face, big or small, guards a treasure proportionate to its size and power. As you face ever larger and more powerful dragons, you gain confidence and experience. You become more competent. The treasures you gain may be in the form of joy, relief, satisfaction or contentment, and sometimes even material gains. The dragon’s treasure makes the quest to slay the dragon worthwhile. You can’t receive the treasure without facing the difficult task of confronting a dragon. No treasure worth having is unguarded. You need to slay the dragon to appreciate the treasure you receive. Something you get for free is far less valuable than something you had to work for and overcome a dragon to possess.

Dragons in this context are metaphors for all kinds of tasks and goals. Your life is a narrative, and you are the hero of your own tale. The meaning of your life is bound up in the obstacles you have to overcome. Great narratives require obstacles and challenges. These are the dragons we must slay.  You get to choose the dragons you challenge. Part of that requires knowing yourself. What do you really want? That is a difficult question that will identify the dragon you choose to face.